Mushrooms Cure Cancer

Eating mushrooms every day 'slashes' the risk of breast cancer by two thirds, according to new research by science men.

The findings come after an unrelated study that we can't find a link for revealed that mushrooms mirror the effect of aromatose inhibitors - breast cancer drugs which block production of oestrogen, also known as the 'cancer feeding hormone'.

40,000 British women are diagnosed with breast cancer each year, and the virus will affect one in nine women at some point in their lives. Diet is thought to be a key factor.

Rates of the disease in China - where they eat mushrooms a lot - are four to five tines lower than in some western countries.

'Scientists found women consuming a third of an ounce of fresh mushrooms every day were 64 per cent less likely to develop a tumour', said The Daily Mail.

However, statist New Labour propaganda mouthpiece the BBC irresponsibly attempted to discourage women from getting cancer, claiming that the results merely showed a correlative association between Chinese lifestyles and cancer rates - rather than the truth, that mushrooms destroy cancer cells and can counter-act the harmful effects of poor diet and a lack of exercise.

The dumbed down, badly run, smug, bloated, leftie broadcast corporation said: 'Researcher Min Zhang and colleagues stressed that their study does not prove cause-and-effect.'

They added facetiously: 'Large scientific studies have proven that the best way to reduce your risk of many cancers is to eat a healthy balanced diet.'

Wine Prevents And Causes Cancer

For millions of middle-class Britons, relaxing in front of The Good Life with a nice glass of English Pinot Noir while the wife does the dishes is the perfect way to unwind after a busy day at the office. And according to new research, it could be just what the doctor ordered.

A study has found that people who enjoy a daily glass of wine more than halved their risk of developing Barrett's Oesophagus, a malignant condition that can lead to throat cancer. Poor person drinks, such as beer and hard spirits, were found to have no beneficial effects, however.

Gastroenterologist Dr Douglas Corley said: 'We already knew red wine was good for the heart, so perhaps here is another added benefit.'

The findings come a week after it was reported that wine increases the risk of developing mouth and throat cancer by 168 per cent.

However, that report was undermined by previous research suggesting that red wine reduced the risk of smokers developing lung cancer by 60%. A study four years beforehand had already established that men who drank red wine were 13% less cancerous than teetotallers.

But this assertion was cast into doubt by an earlier study proving that both wine and beer increased the chance of catching liver and bowel cancer by a fifth.

The news overturned previous research showing that red wine reduced the incidence of bowel cancer by 11%.

Conversely, Daily Mail science editor David Derbyshire revealed last October that wine not only gives you cancer, but Parkinson's disease and heart attacks as well.

Only eleven months earlier, misguided Bacchic revellers had toasted the news that just half a glass of wine a day could prevent cancer.

The party didn't last long - six months on, it emerged that wine increased the risk of breast cancer by 50%. The revelation was re-revealed the following month, putting the risk up by an additional 50%.

But vinophiles weren't worried, as a previous article had described how red wine had anticarcinogenic properties and could shrink tumours. Combined with the powerful cancer crushing properties of wine, berry and rice pills, drinkers were confident of continued good health.

However, men were warned last year that while they might be safe from breast cancer, they were likely to be left withered and emasculated by drinking red wine or beer and eating nuts.

And there was no escape for those hopeless drunks who, too terrified to drink a traditional ale or box of cheap wine, turned to mouthwash - that kills you too.

Finally, the restorative effects of wine were confirmed when research found that back pain could be cured by a pleasant glass of Cabernet, while fat people were overjoyed that a red wine pill could let them eat all the burgers they could ever wish for without gaining a pound.

One local man said: 'I just don't know what's safe to eat or drink any more. If I drink wine, I'll get cancer. If I don't, I'll get cancer. I might just stop eating and drinking anything at all.'

Facebook Gives You Cancer

For millions, logging on to the social networking website Facebook has become an integral part of daily routine, allowing them to keep track of friends they never speak to and stalk attractive co-workers.

But few are aware that every second spent mindlessly pouring over pictures from Sharon's hen night or reading Nathan's 25 truths increases the chance of catching cancer by up to 100%. Joining 'groups' - pages which multiple Facebook users can join to express either their hatred or love of common interests - is thought to cause strokes and elephantitis of the scrotum.

A study carried out by psychologist Dr Aric Sigman found that social isolation 'could alter the way genes work and upset immune responses, hormone levels and the function of arteries' - just like AIDS does.

Sigman's research, published in Biologist, described how social interaction has plummeted since 1987 while the average person's use of electronic media has doubled, resulting in a dark and lonely world where people no longer speak to each other in person or buy newspapers, but instead spend all of their time virtually 'poking' each other and sharing pictures of cats.

Although social networking sites such as Facebook were originally thought to help people connect with others and make them think they have more friends than they really do, Dr Sigman said the reality was frighteningly different: 'Social networking sites should allow us to embellish our social lives, but what we find is very different', he said, adding that 'These are not tools that enhance, they are tools that displace.’

Sigman - who also believes that TV kills people - warned that people are becoming increasingly deprived of real face-to-face personal contact, which encourages 'cuddle chemicals' that make people feel warm and fuzzy and help prevent cancer, strokes, heart disease and dementia. Such cuddley molecules are absent in the type of bleak electronic communications found on Facebook. But not MySpace.