Shocking new figures have revealed that of the 29.3m people inexplicably visiting the Mail's online internetular hypertext webhate site each month, only 8.3m (28%) are decent British folk, while 72% reside in far off lands such as Iran, Africa and Wales.
While some of the foreign visitors can be accounted for by the millions of expats living in Spain who have been forced out of their homeland by two terms of New Labour tax-grabbing multicultural political correctness gone mad, fears are growing that a large proportion of foreign readers may be visiting Mail Online to learn more about Britain before coming over here to take things such as jobs and your house.
There are also concerns that overseas terrorists could use Mail Online to build a picture of modern Britain and it's people in order to explode things,
Despite the influx of virtual immigrants, Mail Online publisher Martin Clarke said he was pleased that the site's strategy of filling its pages with pictures of scantily clad female celebrities on holiday, judicious use of popular keywords, and focus on the banal had delivered a 91% year on year rise in daily traffic. On average, 1.7m surfers got lost searching for celebrity nip slips and upskirt shots and ended up on Mail Online every day, said a delighted Clarke.
ComScore figures for May 2009 also reveal the increasing amounts of time MailOnline readers spend on the boob 'n' bile filled site.
MailOnline’s UK readers spend longer on the site per day than Telegraph, Times, or Guardian readers and spend more time looking at each page, presumably one-handed.