Cbeebies hates you and your children

Tot's TV channel Cbeebies is one of the greatest threats to child development facing Britain today, a shocking new exposé has exposéd.

Beloved by millions of under fours across the country, the station churns out supposedly harmless multi-coloured whimsey such as 'Balamory' and the suggestively titled 'In the Night Garden' for hours on end each day.

But, like [Bag]puss from a septic childhood wound, the truth about Cbeebies has finally been uncovered; it is in fact little more than a mouthpiece through which New Labour newspeak is poured into the homes of Britain's toddlerhood, filling malleable young minds with liberal doublethink that encourages an ever-growing acceptance of diversity and belief that working mothers are perfectly normal.

A cynical ploy to indoctrinate children after traditional broadcasting hours is even available in the form of a chilling 'Cbeebies Player' on the state-funded BBC website.

Stay at home mother Laura Kemp was left feeling 'undermined, undervalued and angry' as she sat down to watch the channel with her two year old. 'I never thought good old Auntie would betray me like this', wept Laura as Tinky Winky pranced across her television screen flaunting his questionable lifestyle choices for all to see. 'It [has] become the Government's ventriloquist's dummy by piping out Labour's send-mums-back-to-work mantra.'

The white middle-class journalist continued: 'There are black, Asian and disabled presenters, ethnic dishes in It's Time For Lunch, world music on Space Pirates, yoga and meditation on Waybuloo...But why am I left out - the woman who chooses to care for her own child? In its paranoid desperation to embrace every minority group, the BBC has overlooked the traditional family.'

An onlooker added: 'Truly, the world has never witnessed discrimination so terrible as Cbeebies. Martin Luther King must be turning in his grave.'

You know what really grinds my gears?

Those bleedin' Burkhas.

Different and wrong they are, those black shrouds. What are they saying about us underneath them? What are they plotting? What are they building in there?

I don't even like the word itself. Burkha. Like the illegitimate lovechild of a burger and a gherkin. Sounds foreign, suspicious...militant. Ghurka. Burk-aa. Ew.

So anyway, my friend Jane* was on the train the other day when who should she find sitting across opposite her? Only another bloody Islam wearing one of those Burkhas, 'with only her heavily made-up eyes peeping out'. Cuh, how's that for hypocrisy? All dolled up to the 9s with makeup and Lord only knows what else, pretending to be covering up for modesty's sake (or Allah's, you don't know with the Islams) but dressed to kill underneath the Burkha, I'll bet.

* Me

Only she didn't have a ticket did she? Hardly surprising, they expect everything for free over here, those Islams in their Burkhas and turbans. Ticket inspector asks to see her ticket. Jane had already shown him hers, with a flutter of the eyelashes to distract him from the fact that her season pass had expired. But this Islam in her Burkha, she's all 'Oh dear, I must have left it at home...I forgot to buy one...a duck swooped from the heavens and took it while I wasn't looking...Oh, by Mohammed's beard, don't blame me Mr Ticket man'. You know how they are.

But you'll never guess what happened. It worked! The guard became nervous as the Burkha presented herself as an innocent in a society she didn't understand. Instead of issuing a penalty fine, he backed off, shrugging his helplessness at the other passengers, while she (or it) sat there laughing no doubt underneath her veil, yellow eyes darting this way and that mocking all the hardworking, taxpaying white English chumps who bothered to buy a ticket.

That's not it though. Imagine Jane's surprise when she got off at the same station as the Burkha and saw this 'penniless innocent' whip out a credit card from under the folds of her dress with which she promptly bought a Tube ticket. She might as well have stuck a big brown middle-finger up at Britannia herself as she floated out of the station.

Jane was so incensed she sent me a text message, explaining what she'd witnessed. It said: 'Attack of Burkha Rage. Grrr.' Too right. Bloody Burkhas. Different. Bad.

You'll never believe this though: When I told a friend about the bloody Burkha and what she did, they were like 'Well I forgot my ticket the other day. I was wearing a t-shirt. Does that give you t-shirt rage?'

I couldn't believe it. It's obvious that PC madness and multicultural liberalism have gone too far when normal British people will take the side of some Islam in a Burkha over an indigenous British journalist! Oh, I could have screamed.

Burkhas. Eurgh.

BBC lets Muslims dictate religious broadcasting

Fears that the BBC is to become little more than a 24 hour Salaat service were mounting today, after the state funded broadcaster appointed a Muslim as its new head of religious programming.

The appointment of bearded Aaqil Ahmed comes at a time of deepening worries among Christian leaders that their faith is being sidelined and downgraded by brown people.

Last year the BBC gave the job of producing its most popular and longrunning religious programme, Songs of Praise, to a Sikh, Tommy Nagra. Although we don't watch Songs of Praise, we are willing to bet that traditional English Christian verse has been replaced with Bollywood style love songs and choir boys are forced to dance around turbans.

Mr Ahmed is currently senior executive for religious programmes at liberal broadcaster of soft-core pornography Channel 4. He has commissioned series on the history of Christianity and the Koran - the Muslim book of jihad and halal.

Critics have accused him of dumbing down religion in his post at C4. In one programme an assessment of the state of Christianity was presented by Cherie Blair.

Mr Ahmed is a trustee of the Runnymede Trust, a body that has championed the pernicious ideology of multiculturalism.

The Church of England points out that 70 per cent of the population of Britain professes to be Christian, while only 3 per cent are Muslims.

Sallow eyed columnist Stephen Glover said: 'The BBC does not like God, unless perhaps it be a Muslim, Hindu or Sikh version.'

He added that the appointment of Mr Ahmed was evidence that 'the Corporation has been increasingly pursuing what can only be, at best, described as a non-Christian agenda and, at worst, as an anti-Christian one' for allowing people who don't believe in Yahweh to be on TV.

Muslim race claim chef refused to make traditional English food

Yet another Muslim has launched a discrimination claim against his employer for asking him to do something perfectly normal that no ordinary English person would object to - probably just to offend YOU.

Money grabbing Hasanali Khoja, 60, claims that being asked to cook sausages at his job with the Metropolitan Police amounted to 'religious discrimination' - because Islam 'forbids' its adherents from handling pork.

But when bosses at the West London station where Mr Khoja worked offered to let him wear gloves and use tongs while preparing traditional '999 breakfasts', he refused, alleging that he still wouldn't be protected from splashes of fat.

'The reason for this refusal is because of the fact it is well known that if you are cooking bacon or sausages, which I was asked to do, I was exposed to splash and contact with pork which I object to. Gloves and tongs would not make any difference', he whined.

Mr Khoja also says he was greeted with derogatory gestures and face pulling when he raised concerns over the handling of pork, and no attempt was made by human resources managers to find a resolution to the situation. He had previously been assured during an interview for his post that he would not be required to cook bacon or sausages.

The story was originally reported in virtually identical form over 6 months ago, leading commenters dumbfounded that somebody could stick to their absurd religious 'beliefs' so annoyingly:

Respected columnist Richard Littlejohn agreed, asking: 'Whoever heard of a chef being excused pork?' before adding hilariously: 'Naturally, [Khoja] now wants a large sum of money by way of com-pen-say-shun'.

It remains unclear why Littlejohn is unable to write words containing more than four syllables without spelling them phonetically. A sauce said: 'He really is just that thick'.

Fury as KFC imposes halal only menu

Greased chicken merchant KFC has introduced halal-only menus to a number of its London restaurants in a move which has angered hundreds of local white folk who like their drumsticks bloody and their pigs bacony.

The decision to offer only fundamentalist Islamic chicken was made by the fast-food chain in an attempt to cater for the billions of Muslims living over here, who consider disgusting fatty fast foods such as kebabs a delicacy. It is thought that most of them pay for the junk snacks with state handouts and incapacity benefits.

KFC is the latest food chain to stop preparing food using traditional Christian methods, after Domino's Pizza launched a halal-only store in Birmingham 'amid a storm of controversy' from nobody except Daily Mail readers who didn't live in Birmingham.

Critics claim that the move is evidence of the 'Islamic supremacist assertions that non-Muslims must abide by Islamic norms'. So far eight of London KFCs have been converted to sell the meat, in areas including Forest Gate, West Ham, Tottenham and Bethnal Green, but insiders have warned that the insidious scheme could be extended to other areas of the UK.



Halal is the barbarous process of cruelly slitting the animal's throat before draining all blood from the carcass, probably for use in some kind of Islamic black magic potion designed to render middle-class white people impotent or something along those lines.

Halal-only branches of KFC will be indistinguishable from normal outlets aside from a small logo on the door telling visitors that the food has been approved by the sinister sounding Halal Food Authority (HFA). Experts have advised English KFC customers to check for the logo before ordering lest they catch Islam from dhabiĥa chicken. Side effects of inadvertently consuming halal food can include uncontrollable beard growth and a tendancy to explode near airports.

One furious local resident said: 'I've never eaten KFC before but I certainly won't be going there again.'

Kids Gym Banned By Muslims / Homosexual Agenda Upsets Parents

Outraged parents reacted with fury yesterday as a mixed-sex gymnastics club was forced to stop holding classes at a girls school - because Muslim parents complained about innocent young boy members of the group looking at their precious Arabian princesses.

Furious Colin Perry, who runs the Shirley Gymnastics Club, accused the school of cow-towing to political correctness and multiculturalism gone mad. 'It's unbelievable,' he wailed, quaking with outrage, 'There is a group of Muslim parents with Muslim children at the school and they are the ones putting pressure on the headteacher.' He later told The Sun: 'The school’s commitment to multiculturalism has been compromised for fear of offending a minority.'

It is unclear how Perry knew it was the Islams who did it, but sources confirmed that his suspicions sounded 'about right'.

He is now desperately searching for a new home for the club's 250 members - including the 36 boys - which had held classes at Old Palace School, in Croydon, South London, since January last year.

Headteacher Judy Harris had offered Mr Perry an intentionally unworkable compromise when he was first ordered to leave a few weeks ago in December, but the terms - that gym classes could continue if they started after pupils had gone home - were rejected as 'impractical'.

In other news....

Parents who pulled their children out of school in protest at lessons encouraging their children to turn gay fear they will be prosecuted after totalitarian education bosses pledged to take 'action' against them.

Some 30 primary pupils are thought to have been kept home during the week of special brainwashing lessons which included secondary school pupils performing Romeo and Julian, a queerified version of the classic heterosexual Shakespearian love story.

Shadowy council bosses said the protest resulted in 'unauthorised absences' and had 'taken action' against parents who pulled their youngsters out of George Tomlinson School in Leytonstone, east London, but refused to state what sanctions are being taken. Sanctions against truancy can include spot fines, parenting contracts and court action, possibly leading to prison sentences lasting up to 30 years.

The parents, who objected to the lessons on moral and religious grounds, said the content was more appropriate to secondary age pupils.

One shocking R-rated story covered in lessons was 'And Tango Makes Three', an explicit depiction of a homosexual relationship between two male penguins, Roy and Silo, who fall passionately in love at a New York zoo.

Pervez Latif, whose children Saleh, ten, and Abdur-Rahim, nine, attend the school said Muslim parents had objected to the theme linked to Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender History Month: ‘We as parents did not receive any guidance that this was going to happen,’ he said, adding 'I didn’t want my children to be learning about this...I found it difficult to explain topics such as homosexual relationships at such a young age.’

A spokesman for Waltham Forest Council lied: ‘As part of the borough’s policy of promoting tolerance in our schools, children are taught that everyone in our society is of equal value. At George Tomlinson, parents were invited to meet with teachers and governors several weeks ago to discuss what work would be taking place throughout the national LGBT History Month and how this work would be delivered.'

Immigrants have caused the collapse of British culture, says hate hack

Devout racist Steve Doughty launched another blistering attack on 'the doctrine of multiculturalism' today, blaming the alleged 'collapse of British culture' on dirty immigrants who 'do not belong' and should just go away.

Reporting on a speech given by Archbishop of York John Sentamu, Doughty, who is albino and despises anybody with darker skin than his own, played a familiar tune as he recalled a previous polemic in which he rationally described the multicultural 'doctrine' as defined by forty three fellow racists living in English favellas.

Doughty's joy at a black man spewing what some dissenters labelled 'right-wing intolerant hypocritical ratshit bile' was palpable, as reports from Northcliffe House suggested that the junior reporter had to be physically restrained after sprinting naked about the Daily Mail offices spraying on colleagues' desks, screaming, 'Ha! A black immigrant Church man agrees that all immigrants are bad, deny it now you wooly-minded hippies! Who's racist now bitches?!'

Sentamu said the failure of migrants to integrate was entirely responsible for 'broken Britian' and a post-imperial national lack of of direction. It is thought Sentamu formed his well-considered views after spending an entire day trapped under several hundred copies of The Daily Mail, The Sun, The Express and The Telegraph after tripping over in a WHSmith's.

The acolyte also called for recognition of the Christian heritage which once bound the nation together and for a revival of the civic values once represented by a myriad of local clubs, societies, associations, churches and trade unions and weepily added: 'As the winds of change were blowing the British Empire away, the United Kingdom was rapidly becoming what has come to be termed a multicultural society'. Critics who pointed out the vacuity of Sentamu's metaphor and his bizarre sentimentality for an Empire that forcibly subjugated and colonised his own country were told to be quiet because he is a man of the cloth and knows better than some silly old PC charlatan.

His holiness graciously admitted that Jews escaping from the Holocaust to settle in Britain were OK because they assimilated well and didn't look or sound that different. They acted like awe-struck and eternally grateful guests in the fine country house that is Britain, until the 1950s when they couldn't blame some imagined genocide for their influx anymore and began behaving less like guests in a grand manor, and more like heroin addicted squatters in a delapidated one-night cheap hotel ---- of moral bankruptcy and transgressive decay.

Sentamu went on to remind anyone who would listen of the importance of 'the strong Judaeo-Christian heritage which has shaped our language, our laws, our education and our hard-won civil rights' and which compelled us to embark on The Crusades. Those weirdo other religions that worship, like, elephants and seven-breasted spacement were responsible for diluting Britain's proud religious tradition, which has seen such high-points as witch burning and heathen killing in the middle-east, he possibly added.

Oddly, the preacher finished his diatrabe with a message of apparent good-will, warning that '[Britain] flounders if it does not allow for participation, involvement and commitment from individuals and communities'.

Which is nice.

Opinonion: Multiculturalism has dealt a fatal blow to Britain

"In the name of multiculturalism, Britain has done something terrible to itself. Like a once proud King disowning his child, our nation has downplayed British cultural identity, leaving long-standing inhabitants fearful and new immigrants alienated, creating a vacuum ripe for exploitation by extremists.

Multiculturalism and its allied doctrines of human rights and anti-discrimination are acting as a kind of corrosive acid eating away at our institutions, values and national identity, like rust on an old penny-farthing.

What's more, they are also actively preventing us from defending our own country. Just look what happened when the Army said it wanted to put a 15 per cent cap on the number of recruits it takes from overseas - someone dared mention that this could be interpreted as 'discriminatory'. Madness.

Really, you don't know whether to laugh or cry. Although, surely, given the gravitas of this very article, crying must be the more appropriate reaction. It surely doesn't need to be said that to defend Britain, the armed forces must reflect and share the culture and values of British society - and, obviously, foreigners do reflet or share the culture and values of British society. Why not? Well, they just don't. They weren't even born here.

This is not a matter of treating foreigners less favourably - simply that a country has to be defended by those who are, overwhelmingly, part of it and thus loyal to it. It is because they identify with their country that they are prepared to lay down their lives for it. Immigrants, even legal ones whose families have been here for generations, CLEARLY are still not part of it and therefore are disloyal. Disloyal subjects would never want to lay down their lives for queen and country, even though thousands do every day by signing up for our armed forces. So many, in fact, that some military figures feel it necessary to call for a limit. For the purposes of this essay though, signing up to the army does not mean that a person is loyal to his country. I'm not sure why exactly, but my point is that these foreigners aren't prepared to lay put their lives on the line for Britain, despite the fact that they do just that, in droves.

For sure, there have always been foreign nationals who perform exemplary duty in our armed forces and have made the ultimate sacrifice on our behalf. But if there is no longer a critical mass of soldiers whose first loyalty is to Britain because they are not British, then that sense of a common struggle must dissipate.

Those last two paragraphs were really really difficult to write. They are probably even harder to read and understand. But I'm fairly certain there's an enormously valid point in there somewhere. If you can't understand it, that's because you're a lefty equality zealot.

Anyways, I've gathered myself now so let's attempt to shamble on. It's difficult to write when you're this outraged but you don't really know why. The important thing is that you just are.

The head of the Equality Commission, Trevor Phillips, objects to the Army's proposal on the grounds that it 'raises large issues of principle'. You bet it does: the largest is the principle of citizenship itself, at the very heart of which lies the duty to fight for one's country. It is that principle which the Equality Commission now wishes to destroy, like the Japanese destroyed Pearl Harbour.

On Planet Equality, it seems it is racist to have an Army consisting of Britons committed to defending their own country. That's because multiculturalism holds that no one culture can lay claim to be the custodian of this nation's values. Mass immigration is regarded, instead, as the means to transform this green and pleasant land into the nursery of the brotherhood of man. Pfft, how ridiculous. The brotherhood of man could only ever exist between men of the same ethnicity. That's why it's called a brotherhood; brothers are the same race. Apart from when they're of mixed race parents - but even then they're kind of the same. I think.

As a result, the country is increasingly resembling some kind of mass transit camp, in which fewer and fewer inhabitants have any permanent attachment or identification with Britain. That's why almost two-thirds of all applicants wanting to join the Army in London are now foreign nationals - hence the Army's concern. These two seemingly mutually exclusive statements - that fewer people have an attachment to our country and yet an increasing number wish to fight for that same country, are in fact not mutually exclusive. It makes sense.

This attempt to change the very nature of our country is now also affecting the most fundamental of our institutions. The Government is considering proposals to amend the 307-year-old Act of Settlement because it breaches human rights and sex discrimination law by not allowing a Catholic on the throne and by giving male heirs priority over older sisters. Of course, a law being 307 years old makes it far more respectable thatn normal, New Labour influenced laws. Rather than being outdated, long forgotton and irrelevant, it reflects Britain as it should be - old and traditional.

I could go on; indeed some columnists have. However, I think the point has been made (somewhere). Multiculuralism is a terrible thing and has destroyed British values, even though I have no evidence to support that claim. Some may say that, in fact, I have used evidence that supports the opposite of what I claim. This may be true, but I'm fairly sure it isn't. At the end of the day, the army said they don't want any more foreigners in the forces, and that MUST mean something."

Adapted from an article that orginally appeared HERE: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1063741/this-article-makes-no-sense

British Families Left Without Homes as Foreign Influx Skyrockets

Millions of immigrants from other countries, many of whom probably don't even speak English, are living in housing paid for by the British tax-payer, it has emerged from a secret report hidden from the public.

The number of foreigners exploiting loopholes in 'Human Rights' laws to claim free housing has soared over the past five years according to the damning report, produced by the Equality and Human Rights Commission, published recently.

One in nine council homes is now occupied by a migrant family, equal to almost 20%. Therefore, for every hundred council houses, it stands to reason that thirty are posessed by immigrants, leaving only forty free homes for white British middle class families who might want to live there but are now unable to. These families are likely to have to live rough in parks instead, where, as statistics show, it is probable they will be robbed or stolen.

The inquiry warned that due to Britain's rising population outpacing the number of homes available, fewer people were likely to be placed in subsidised accommodation. Many of these people NOT placed by the council or the Housing Association (HA), are likely to be from Britain.

One Englishman, who preferred not to be named, said of the situation, 'What about my rights? I've lived here for most of my life, I've paid a few years worth of taxes, and now thanks to New Labour, my house is going to be taken away and given to an Iraqi nationalist.'

The report paints a grim picture of state-funded housing initiatives thanks to the leech-like effect of people not from around here. One local newspaper described how 'Housing queues have lengthened by more than half since 1997. In London and the south east they have more than doubled'. Although these statistics are unsourced and completely anecdotal, they illustrate just how Dickensian many London boroughs are becoming, groaning under the weight of 'multi-culturalism' championed by 'progressive' 'socialist' 'politicians'.