Hang Them!

Russell Ross and Jonathan Brand were today suspended by the BBC over the disgusting, obscene and perverted comments they made about mild-mannered Andrew Sachs' grand-daughter, Georgina 'Whiter than white' Baillie.

After demands from over 3,500 Mail readers, (or perhaps 4,000...no, it was 6,000...ah hang on, no 4,000) state communications ministry the BBC suspended the two filthbags. So repugnant were Ross and Brand's comments that even the Prime Minister himself, who has nothing better to do since the credit crunch has been reversed, condemned the hateful 'comedians', describing them as 'a couple of odious little shitters who need deporting'.

It emerged shortly afterwards that the vile pair continued making fun of Sachs and virginal Georgina in a disgraceful display of bastardry that EVEN the morally bankrupt pornographers at the BBC found too sickening to broadcast. The comments were so awful that, in the interests of bringing this despicable saga to an end and saving the feelings of the Fawlty Towers star, one responsible newspaper selflessly reproduced them in full after directly contacting him to spell out exactly what was said.

After BBC commandant Mark Thompson made a half-arsed public apology for the debacle, unsatisfied critics called for harsher penalties against the pair and the Corporation, calling for the return of capital punishment and the complete shutdown of the BBC.

Sources geographically close to Sachs and Baillie told The Quail that all they wanted was to be left alone to try and return to normality, and that they just wanted the media to respect their privacy.

Here are some pictures of Georgina published by a newspaper at the forefront of the righteous hate campaign against Ross and Brand for invading the privacy of Sachs and Baillie. You can see her nipple in one of them.