Metro Moronity

Many other newspapers have forged shrewd allegiances in the past; the mighty Daily Mail ensured its lasting prominence in the British rag-o-sphere by supporting Mussolini and Hitler when lefty naysayers claimed they were nothing but bad news and The Daily Telegraph famously bought millions of pounds worth of shares in Russian inter-continental ballistic missile manufacturers during the Cold War.

We here at The Quail do not wish to get left trailing in the wake of our peon-erring brotherhood, and so it is with a modicum of joy we announce the exciting news that from this day on, you shall have delivered unto you the very best that the Metro has to offer too (it is, afterall, owned by Northcliffe, the glorious commanders of the the Mailish empire). We wish to show our support for Metro's crack team of comedy headline writers and office-bound, Fox News watching, Google News subscribing sub-editors by reproducing here the absolute best headlines that the freesheet press has to offer. So, without further ado:

Accused killer 'a very good cook'

What does this mean? Out of context: absolutely nothing.

In context: the same.