Labour spends 25.2 TRILLION on quangos, almost

The cost of taxpayer funded quangos - the shadowy, oddly named things that you don't really understand but we use to scare you - has hit an incredible £170 billion, or 25.2 TRILLION yen.

An analysis that involved picking numbers from a hat, discarding the small ones, adding the big ones together, then multiplying the answer by the speed of light in a vacuum (C), has revealed they are swallowing up, let's say, 160 times more money than a certain amount of time ago, or something roughly approximate to that anyway.

In 1997/8, quangos cost a very reasonable £24.1bn, but thanks to Labour cronies given free reign to set up millions more since then, their number and spending have sky rocketed. A guess by our work experience boy puts the number of quangos at 994, while the tea lady says the number of staff employed by them has jumped from 1m a decade ago, to 1.5m today.

The spending on quangos is almost five times the Ministry of Defence's £35.4billion budget, and billions of times more than my wife spends on the weekly shop.

Ludicrous wooly minded organisations like the "Learning and Skills Council" have seen their budget explode from £5.5bn to £11bn.

The Taxpayers' Alliance quote generator said: 'This situation is unacceptable and is costing taxpayers in Britain a fortune. For ordinary people facing pay freezes and redundancies it is an insult for the public sector to carry on creating jobs.' A source added: 'Yes we know quangos aren't related to public sector job creation, but there wasn't an option to generate quango quotes so this will have to do. It's the same principle anyway.'

The Government said: 'You've literally just made all of these numbers up, haven't you?'