Wednesday 18 March 2009

Treating immigrants like dirt is OK, says immigrant


Being mean to minorities is now officially acceptable thanks to the heroic actions of one small town postmaster.

Brits everywhere rejoiced today at the news that it is perfectly tolerable to demand that foreigners speak English, learn all the words to the national anthem and wear tweed jackets with leather patches instead of intimidating turbans and beards.

And, no doubt, the PC brigade will be wringing their effeminite, well-moisturised hands at the startling revelation that the man at the centre of the anti-non-integration campaign is himself a foreign immigrant from another country somewhere beyond the sea, possibly in the east where spice mines still account for 100% of GDP and elephants live in castles and keep human butlers.

Although Deva 'Dave' Kumarasiri is not technically British, and neither are his children or their children, he proudly flies a Union Jack outside his house and describes Britain as 'the best country in the world'. Like all British people he drives a Land Rover and is trying to make his two young daughters join the RAF.

So proud is Dave of the fragrant azure pastures of inner-city Nottingham that he is insisting that other foreigners embrace British culture with the same rabidity that he has, warning that immigrant customers at his Post Office must speak only in English or face a permanent ban.

And while some politically correct do-gooders have accused him of inciting division in the community, it doesn't take long to see that Dave's 'intolerant' measures are in fact just driven by passion for the country that selflessly invaded his motherland nearly 200 years ago, saving his and older generations from centuries of pre-colonial barbarism.

'All I'm doing is telling people that if they want to live in Britain, be British', he says, before handing out some useful pointers for fellow migrants: 'Don't boo our soldiers when they come home from Iraq. Don't live your life without embracing our culture. Don't stay here without making any effort to learn the language. And if you don't want to be British, go home.'

One 'British' Muslim said: 'Mistah Kumarasiri, he right. I shouldn't have heckled those soldiers along with the thousands of other Muslims who did too. That's where I've been going wrong. Jesus akbar!'

As Dave describes his policies in his shop, a Polish woman wearing a shabby, sack-like dress shuffles to the counter to presents a £299 benefit cheque to be cashed - probably to fund the eight children she might have. A Pakistani man - reprimanded earlier for not speaking English, smiles pathetically as he struggles with 'please' and 'thank you'. We both glow with pride at their humiliation, and our own superiority.

Despite unfounded accusations from the local liberal elite that it is none of his business forcing people to speak English, and suggestions that he is driven not by patriotism but by arrogance, Dave is reasonable in his crusade: 'I don't expect immigrants to be fluent in English overnight. Lots of people struggle to master another language but they get much more respect if they at least try. I'm not being a racist, just a realist', he says catchily.

Mr Kumarasiri grew up in a village outside the third-world Sri Lankan capital of Colombo and learned English before arriving on our shores.

Although he supports the enforced conversion of foreigners to British customs and culture, and actively tests his own customers to ensure they meet his prerequisite level of Britishness, he describes the New Labour British Citizenship Test that he was forced to endure upon entering Britain as 'pointless and stupid'.

Unsurprisingly, he says that back in his native Sri Lanka, people are still proud to be associated with their former colonial ruler. 'Still we have the pride that Britain left behind. The laws are still there, the schools are still there. The kids have courtesy. They have discipline. Here, all that is gone. Let's bring it back.'

One insider said: 'If this Dave bloke likes Sri Lanka so much and thinks England is such a mess, why doesn't he go live there?'

7 comments:

  1. When I saw this story in the Mail I knew people would jump on it. So many comments on the Mail website along the lines of:

    'Glad he said it, he is brown in colour, therefore if he holds these opinions they cannot be racist.'

    Wonder how many positive comments he would have had had he been talking about how he lives in Britain but retains his foreign heritage.

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  2. If this man was white he would be in jail by now.

    If an english person goes to live abroad, don't we have to fit in to their society and not force our views / religon and laws onto them.

    or is that being racist by me for even suggesting it.......

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  3. No, he wouldn't be in jail, but he probably would have been sacked - a bit like Kumarasiri has been now. Interesting that you would overestimate what response there would actually be to this kind of situation in reality.

    If an English person goes to live abroad, yes, we are expected not to force our views, religion and laws on people. A bit like how foreign migrants in Britain don't actually do this here either. But it's interesting that you feel its unjust that we can't go to other countries and 'force' things upon them. Would you like that?

    As for going abroad and 'having' to fit in - you must holiday in places I've never visited, because often if I'm in another country I see an awful lot of British people unable to even say 'hello' or 'thank you' in the native language, not attempting to learn local customs and generally highlighting that they actively enjoy not 'fitting in'.

    It's not racist, but it is woefully misinformed. And it's interesting that you would be so quick to suggest that others might label it that way.

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  4. This article really bothers me. I’ve been reading up a lot on the response to Deva Kumarasiri's stance and situation and as of yet of all the articles I had come across this is by far the worst. I am a 22 year old white British woman, I have lived in Britain all my life as have my parents and their parents and so on. The first article I read was based on an interview with Mr. Kuarasiri and it honestly made me feel excited to hear such views being openly expressed. I feel as though this country has taken the PC attitude to such an extent that we as a nation have been influenced to not feel proud of our heritage and who we are as a country and what our history holds. Most - if not all - of the people I know who are naturalised British citizens are happy to welcome new-comers to Britain provided that the new-comer is willing to join into society and the British way of doing things - just as we would if we happened to move to a different country ourselves. I think this is certainly the way it should be and that goes hand in hand with learning your way around the language.
    One concern I had in reading these articles was that I was wondering how quickly idiots would come along and turn Mr. Kumarasiri's fantastic patriotism upside down.
    I found it leaping off the page in this seemingly supportive article.
    Jamie Sport who writes this article is the kind of person that upsets our society and ruins being a 'Brit' for the rest of us. Jamie, just because Mr. Kumarasiri was not born in Britain it does not mean he is not British, he has lived in this country for 18 years and has changed his passport accordingly. How long do you have to live here to be considered British? How many generations of your family have to have been born here for a person to be considered British? Or for you does it just come down to the colour of a persons skin?
    When you come out with comments like 'a Polish woman wearing a shabby, sack-like dress shuffles to the counter to presents a £299 benefit cheque to be cashed - probably to fund the eight children she might have.' do you even realise how much of a fool you sound? You have clearly taken the idea of British patriotism to a level that many would feel uncomfortable with. Ridiculing other races and nationalities and people like the 'polish woman' for no reason other than the fact she is polish is just plain ignorant. Its unfortunate that articles, blogs and comments such as yours are able to be seen by people who may believe that this attitude is expressed by more than just a small minority of people like yourself who so obviously feel the need to have something to be angry at.

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  5. 'How long do you have to live here to be considered British? How many generations of your family have to have been born here for a person to be considered British? Or for you does it just come down to the colour of a persons skin?'

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/feb/26/daily-mail-immigration-britain

    'An Eastern European woman silently presents a £299 benefit cheque at the counter to be cashed':

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1162957/Im-standing-Britain-says-Sri-Lankan-postmaster-wont-serve-migrants-dont-speak-English.html

    'Ridiculing other races and nationalities and people like the 'polish woman' for no reason other than the fact she is polish is just plain ignorant.'

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1017682/Poles-live-EVERY-local-authority-Britain-million-eastern-Europeans-UK-2004.html

    'Its unfortunate that articles, blogs and comments such as yours are able to be seen by people who may believe that this attitude is expressed by more than just a small minority of people like yourself who so obviously feel the need to have something to be angry at.'

    You know what would be even more unfortunate, Sarah? If national newspapers expressed the same sentiment. Oh! Like this:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-422269/The-influx-immigrant-workers.html

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  6. "DON'T FORCE THEIR VIEWS RELIGIONS AND LAWS ON US?! PAHAHA THAT'S WHY THEY BUILD MOSQUES, SYNAGOGUES AND ALL THAT OVER HERE AND DON'T LET US EVEN WEAR A CROSS!!! GET A LIFE YOU SAD PRICK. IF YOU LOVE THEM SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU MOVE TO ASIA?!

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  7. Haha.

    nrrrrrrrrgh....t'kin' are jorrrrrrrrrbs......

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