Cancer jab and booze turns girls into lying floozies, studies find

Alcohol and the HPV vaccine are creating a generation of young hussies hell-bent on drinking themselves to oblivion while tempting unsuspecting men into illicit encounters in WKD sodden hotel rooms before blaming the whole thing on male trickery, it was claimed today.

A study of 200 harlots in Greater London found up to 75% of them rated innocuous 'date-rape drugs' as a significant risk factor in sexual assaults, instead of real causes such as short skirts, high heels, and shameless flirting. Many said they would attribute symptoms such as sickness, blackouts and dizziness to Rohypnol or GHB poisoning despite the far more likely explanation that ladies simply can't hold their drink properly - especially when it comes to beer.

A local alcoholic explained: 'Ha! Wimmin, eh? Can't hold their drink. I've sheen girlsh shtop after only a couple of lagersh in cashe they get shloshed - pfft! I've had eight pintsh thish morning and I'm fine.'

Dr Adam Burgess of the University of Kent agreed that young women were probably just making it up when blaming blackouts and unexpected nookie on 'date-rape drugs': 'There have hardly been any cases where it has been proved that sedatives such as rohypnol and GHB have been used in a rape incident. Yet it has been a storyline that has appeared in virtually every TV soap. Maybe that tells us something about the programmes these women are watching.'

The study comes as a survey of pre-pubescant proto-strumpets found that the HPV vaccine probably might encourage some young girls to maybe be a bit more promiscuous, or not. Alarmingly, as many as 100% of school girls aged 12 and 13 said that the HPV vaccine made them feel protected from getting cervical cancer, while a massive 1 in 7 girls confused by the question and unsure what 'promiscuous' meant, said that the jab would make them 'take more risks'.

Unnamed family groups and imaginary experts expressed fears that HPV would lead to a rise in unplanned pregnancies and a fall in house prices. One girl said: 'I don't like jabs. They hurt my arm.'

More: NHS Choices

Yet another woman cries rape as crazed wife tries to murder disabled husband

Men were warned last night to exercise caution when dealing with women, after a spate of false rape claims, attempted murders and suspected regicides.

Gary Wood of Walker, Newcastle was thrown into jail for almost three hours after psychotic fantasist Natalie Jefferson viciously accused him of rape. Newcastle Crown Court heard how Jefferson, of Fellgate, South Tyneside, agreed to meet Mr Wood in Newcastle's Gateshead before going for a drink in nearby Jesmond. Later the same evening, Mr Wood was confronted by police officers who explained that his date had cried rape and that he stood to have his life ruined because of her claims. Thankfully, Mr Wood was released without charge after detectives saw through Jefferson's pernicious womanly lies.

The case follows a string of other single women, too busy drinking and working to have children and marry, who have falsely accused innocent men of rape. Experts estimate that cries of rape probably outnumber actual rapes, where the 'victim' was probably asking for it anyway, by a certain amount, maybe.

In another chilling incident, womens' weakness for money was highlighted as Chelmsford Crown Court heard how openly female mother-of-three Tracey Roffey tried to suffocate her wheelchair-bound husband after learning insurers would pay a six-figure sum if he died. Not satisfied with a husband and three children, Roffey is understood to have been motivated by the prospect of a potential £350,000 insurancepayout which it is thought she planned on using to buy ear-rings, necklaces and other woman things.

The attempted murder follows the trial of a jealous Australian woman accused of setting fire to her husband's genitals after seeing him with another woman, and the wife who paid hitmen to assassinate her husband, before running him over in a 4x4 when the hit failed.

A local man said: 'Rape and murder have always been traditionally male crimes and now these womens are taking even that away from us. I can't even remember the last time I read about an actual rape in the paper - you can't leave your house these days without being accused of a sex crime by a binge-drinking high flying female lawyer. It's feminism gone mad.'

Another woman cries rape; Man's reputation ruined

Cuh. Women.

Tony from London said insightfully:


237 people agreed that Britain is indeed at risk of falling under the control of extremist right-wing Muslim feminazis who spend all their time asking for it before dragging their unsuspecting victims through the courts in the hope of receiving multi-million pound payouts. 112 fellow commenters also voiced their fury that a sex-crazed female man eating lawyer was able to bring the case to court in the first place.

Six months ago, a victim of an attempted rape wrote an article for The Daily Mail about the issue of rape victims receiving lower compensation payments if found to have been drunk when the crime was committed. The highly personal account of her experience, during which she was picked up and physically thrown down a flight of stairs because she resisted her attacker, concluded that 'there's a world of difference between being incapable and being culpable.'

The 'debate' received zero comments.

Peter Hitchens NOT Writing Exclusively for The Quail Online

I'm not a bad bloke.

I may not be as successful as my brother, but I don't mind. I mean, of course, I'll grudgingly bring it up every time he pens something clever that all those literary types I like to call the 'liberal elite' love so much. I don't mind because I'm quite happy in the knowledge that, really, he wouldn't be nearly as successful if the general population just had the smallest shred of common sense.

It's that wooly minded liberalism at play once again. It dissolves people's critical faculties. Ordinarily it will fade with the passing of the teenage years; those Che Guevara posters will get torn down and revolution will sit gathering dust in the corner of an empty dorm room in the summer holidays, just as the socialist doctrine becomes progressively sillier the older one gets. I mean, who could seriously believe that giving things to poor people (for free) would ever benefit people?

But sometimes it does not disappear, that naive idealism that could never work in any real state, the same ideology that let Stalin murder millions and compelled Marx to fritter away his youthful promise on banal comedy films, just as Krusty the clown squandered his potential talents as a great religious thinker on making people laugh. Chris does so well because he panders to these sad, lonely old students who still believe that they can change the world. It's ok, because my level headedness, my insight, my rationality could never be rewarded in a world as broken as ours. For every criticism I receive, it reaffirms how right I am; no person could honestly attract as much condemnation as I do unless some great liberal conspiracy existed that wished for nothing other than the denigration of true, say-it-and-be-damned, gritty journalism.

You see, even as you have been reading these very words, I have been persuading you to come round to my point of view. You might not even have realised. I've probably even made you agree with me before you actually know what I'm talking about.

That's talent. I wield it like a sabre, and smite those who wish to censor honest, open debate at my size 12 feet.

You're probably already thinking, 'My, doesn't he make a wonderfully compelling argument. It's almost erotic.' And you're right. I do. The reason I'm quite so engaging and persuasive is because of my measured balance and metered rationality. It goes without saying that we all love Littlejohn and his mistress Mel, but let's be honest here - they are pathologically insane. They use truth like artillery, raining down white-hot hellfire upon transfixed readers, their bellicosity reverberating in peoples' ears just as the great Roman orators moved gathered listeners to great acts of patriotism millennia ago.

I am different. I am The Daily Mail's voice of reason. My calm, reasoned arguments embolden me against the slings and arrows of disdain, elevate me above criticism. Indeed, I'm so incredibly humble and yet certain of the inherant, beautiful validity of my polemic that I'll go so far as to write for those I detest the most. I even guest starred on some fudge-packer's weblog after he accused me of homophobia. That is how sure I am of my convictions, and how assured I am of my eloquence - I can win round even the staunchest of sodomisers.

This brilliance with prose and barrister-like ability to grasp any subject matter in its absolute entirety, fully considering both sides of an argument with superhuman levels of insight, is what grants me the wonderful privilege of being able to say things that seem at first just too contraversial for the ordinary writer to even approach. I'll let no politically correct, cotton wool wrapped left-wing sensitivity stand in my way as I say the things everybody thinks but daren't utter. And people will love me for my prowess with the word, for my fearlessness in tackling issues which anyone else wouldn't go near with a great, rigid pole, they will become illuminated by my incredible knack for seeing through the dark glass, reaching into realms where lesser men might be afraid to venture for fear of becoming tangled in complications and controversy.

Not I. The pedestal on which I stand proudly surverying the mire of confusion and knife-crime beneath me, grants me pure, unclouded vision. My unparalleled position empowers to me to say things like

Drunk rape victims deserve everything they get

Yes.

We all know it. It's blindingly, undeniably obvious that women who get drunk are more likely to be raped than women who do not get drunk.

Rape is often a clouded, complex topic; no doubt it is a natural, many would say perfectly healthy, activity but reconciling the molten desire of a man to penetrate a woman without her consent with our modern, 'victim' sensitive culture is difficult. Many men have been sent, misery etched onto their drawn, puzzled faces, to jail for nothing more than the 'crime' of loving too strongly.

Meanwhile, these women, these jezebels, continue drinking, smoking, taking drugs, and wearing clothes so skimpy that no man could resist a quick sideways glance as the suggestive hint of a pert young bottom sashays past him.

It's simple human nature. Obviously, I cannot explicitly condone the wicked, treacherous act, but who could argue that a woman who has so brazenly acquiesced to a furtive late night jaunt back to a lad's flat after a few Bacardi Breezers is anything other than inexcusably stupid. It's that simple.

And yet, only this week, a wave of hysterical unfeminine latter day Pankhursts forced a State agency to reverse a perfectly sensible decision to cut payouts to rape victims who had selfishly allowed themselves to become intoxicated, often with hard drugs as well as alcohol.

Who pays for all of these compensation claims? The cash flows like rivers of black immorality into the white purses of these girls, while the men, made animal by the failures of the state, rot in prison, endlessly awaiting some resolution to their anguish. Instead of offering justice, the state provides a cheque to the accusers.

It is inevitable that we must look on with tired abjection and resign ourselves to the fact that a growing slice of our taxes will be handed over to victims of unsolved rapes, while rape itself increases – the inevitable result of the collapse of sexual morality. The poor boys, scapegoated by a government absurdly out of touch with reality, will wait forever for their payout, their lives ruined by crazed accusations of 'monster', branded 'out of control' simply for seeking to pleasure a woman too inebriated to realise what she really wants.

These victims need to learn the importance of responsibility. Getting drunk is not something that happens to you, it is something you do. And in so doing, you bring it upon yourself. Nobody would drink until they were no longer able to see straight or control their own body, then claim it wasn't their fault when they crashed a car into a young family, killing them in an instant. Our society is based on self-restraint, and to allow women to act so wantonly, without fear of any repercussion, is folly.

All the above is a statement of the blindingly obvious. Yet, in the main forums of public opinion, such views are becoming harder and harder to express because of the unreasoning storm of fury that will follow.

Luckily, I can take it. I know my argument makes sense, and those who oppose me are nothing more than hysterical sensationalists, too afraid to speak their true feelings.

Also, the BBC is to blame for not giving airtime to social and moral conservatives. They're the real rapists.