A.N. Wilson: These proud titans of truth will destroy us all

Appropriately named Professor David Nutt, who was chairman of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, was finally sacked last week for saying things the the Government - and more importantly, the Daily Mail - did not agree with. He hissed that alcohol and tobacco were more dangerous than the murderous devil weed cannabis, and that riding ponies was more of a risk to your health than stuffing your face with ecstasy and washing it down with Vodka.



What Nutt wanted to do was to dictate "evidence" based "research" to the Government, blinding them with "facts" too distasteful to be true. His pernicious brand of empiricism threatened to undermine the common sense belief that drugs are bad mkay and was rightly crushed. But even more frighteningly, his dogmatic adherance to the religion of science betrays society's increasing dependence on reality rather than blind faith. You know who else abandoned morality for science? A.N. Wilson knows.


Also see 'He blinded me with science' by Dave Cross.

Thanks to Sam Eaton and Bruce for the pics and James O'Malley for the audio (if you're using a reader you may have to click through to access the player).

Springtime for Dacre

Adolf Hitler's refusal to shake the hand of black Olympic gold medallist Jesse Owens at the 1936 Berlin Olympics has gone down in history as one of history's greatest snubs - BUT DID THE FUHRER REALLY DO IT? Or not do it, as the case may be?

Perhaps we shall never know. But then again, maybe HITLER'S VALET could shed some light on the issue?

If he can't, then we could always try tapping the MI6 NAZI MONSTER for some info. Failing that, HITLER'S GOOD FRIEND ERROL is sure to know.

Ah, whatever. Even if the man 'who got things done' did refuse to shake an Olympic sprinter's hand just because he was afraid of catching dark person germs, we can all rest safe in the knowledge that the Nazis weren't the only one's behaving badly during WWII - STALIN WAS JUST AS BAD YOU KNOW. And Ady did have some frikkin' awesome NAZI PLANES!

All of which leads you to wonder, well, what if the man with the geometric moustache had won the war? What would HITLER'S LONDON look like, for instance? Full of bratwurst stalls, fine beer houses and NAZI GNOMES, most likely. A lot nicer than the AMAZONIAN FATHERLAND, that's for sure! It makes you wonder. Doesn't it?

Huh, maybe just us then.

In other NSDAP news, Leo McKinstry recently wrote of the Bernie Ecclestone 'Hitler would be a great PM' scandal:

The inter-war history of the sport was bound up to a disturbing degree with the rise of the far-right, particularly in Germany, and traits of the outlook remain to this day.

A source said: 'People in glass houses, Leo. Put that rock down.'

Asked why the Daily Mail had run more than 10 Hitler-related stories in the space of two months, an insider replied: 'Yes.'

Image courtesy of Uncyclopedia.

Mail readers: 'Hitler wasn't all bad you know'

Fury erupted today after F1 squillionaire Bernie 'Grumpy' Ecclestone attempted to pass off the Daily Mail's political ideals as his own.

The 78 year old racing tyrant criticised modern politicians as 'weak' and praised fellow dictator Adolf Hitler's ability to 'get things done'.

'In a lot of ways, terrible to say this I suppose, but apart from the fact that Hitler got taken away and persuaded to do things that I have no idea whether he wanted to or not, he was in the way that he could command a lot of people, able to get things done,' he said.

Ecclestone suggested that Ady H was simply misunderstood and tricked into genocide by bigger boys: 'In the end he got lost, so he wasn't a very good dictator because either he had all these things and knew what was going on and insisted, or he just went along with it... so either way he wasn't a dictator.'

He also blamed democracy itself for failing the modern world: 'It hasn't done a lot of good for many countries - including this one,' he said without a shred of irony.

Not content excusing just one of history's greatest villains, the 2ft tall Formula 1 despot went on to praise other ridiculously evil 20th Century icons of wickedness: 'We did a terrible thing when we supported the idea of getting rid of Saddam Hussein. He was the only one who could control that country. It was the same with the Taliban.'

Mail commenters agreed with Darth Ecclestone's perfectly rational sentiments; Jake from London brushed aside Hitler's murder of countless millions of people, and instead celebrated the Fuhrer's bang-on social and economic policies and fight against Communism, whilst justifying the Holocaust:

Les Blakeman from Lakenheath agreed that democracy is little more than corruption waiting to happen and that dictatorships are the way to go, while basement-dwelling professor of Greek language M.O. from London dissected the word itself and came to a chilling conclusion:

Meanwhile, John from Halton nodded sagely in agreement with the Saddam apologism, and Fernando from Vilamoura kept his empathy with Ecclestone's pro-genocidal dictator musings simple:


But the award for best comment of the day went to owner of eye-buggeringly awful website and fan of national socialism BNP supporter Councillor Chris Cooke, who, in a rambling and confused post, praised Hitler's efficiency and ballsy 'to hell with the consequences!' attitude, compared the Nazi leader with the world's greatest Mongol, described David Cameron as a 'Pinko' and suggested that Oswald Moseley's son would be a better Prime Minister than any Labourite political figure (or something):

Nazis ready themselves for return to Europe

Britain last night celebrated the 65th anniversary of driving fascism out of Europe by sending two fascists to Europe.

The British Nazi Party (BNP) received a total of 948,598 votes - a 6.2% total share of the nation's vote - in Thursday's European Parliamentary elections. It is understood that The Electoral Commission received almost the same number of complaints from voters unhappy that the ink used on ballot papers was too dark for their liking.

Fascist candidates were particularly well supported in Yorkshire & Humber and the North West, where their share of vote was high enough to secure two seats in Strasbourg. The puffed-up racists will look forward to spending more time with other batshit loons like Geert Wilders, the extremist Dutch Ken doll who is banned from entering Britain because of his outspoken beliefs that people who aren't Geert Wilders are dangerous Islamists and ginger people breathe AIDS.

Ironically, the BNP polled less votes in Yorkshire and Manchester than in the 2004 European Parliamentary elections, when they failed to win a single seat. But because of a record low voter turn out, and the fact that not a single person in Britain voted Labour, the Nazi's share of total votes increased by 1.3%, enough to afford them two seats under the EU's absurdly complicated voting system.

However, BNP leader Nick 'Hitler Mk II' Griffin ignored the fact that his cohort of hatemongers only scraped in because of the catastrophic failures of the mainstream parties to actually represent the British population and the general rubbishness of an apathetic electorate, celebrating his phyrric victory as an 'historic achievement' with wobbly jowls and swivelling eyes.

A source added: 'Oswald would be proud of this historical achievement.'

See also: Drink-soaked Trotskyite Popinjays for War for an in-depth analysis of why British voters backed the BNP
and The Enemies of Reason for a round up of BNP voters' reactions to the election