As Ireland votes 'yes' to Lisbon treaty, Peter Hitchens blows his verbosity gland

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert
A shape with bull's body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Lisbon to be born?


With apologies to W.B. Yeats

Nazis ready themselves for return to Europe

Britain last night celebrated the 65th anniversary of driving fascism out of Europe by sending two fascists to Europe.

The British Nazi Party (BNP) received a total of 948,598 votes - a 6.2% total share of the nation's vote - in Thursday's European Parliamentary elections. It is understood that The Electoral Commission received almost the same number of complaints from voters unhappy that the ink used on ballot papers was too dark for their liking.

Fascist candidates were particularly well supported in Yorkshire & Humber and the North West, where their share of vote was high enough to secure two seats in Strasbourg. The puffed-up racists will look forward to spending more time with other batshit loons like Geert Wilders, the extremist Dutch Ken doll who is banned from entering Britain because of his outspoken beliefs that people who aren't Geert Wilders are dangerous Islamists and ginger people breathe AIDS.

Ironically, the BNP polled less votes in Yorkshire and Manchester than in the 2004 European Parliamentary elections, when they failed to win a single seat. But because of a record low voter turn out, and the fact that not a single person in Britain voted Labour, the Nazi's share of total votes increased by 1.3%, enough to afford them two seats under the EU's absurdly complicated voting system.

However, BNP leader Nick 'Hitler Mk II' Griffin ignored the fact that his cohort of hatemongers only scraped in because of the catastrophic failures of the mainstream parties to actually represent the British population and the general rubbishness of an apathetic electorate, celebrating his phyrric victory as an 'historic achievement' with wobbly jowls and swivelling eyes.

A source added: 'Oswald would be proud of this historical achievement.'

See also: Drink-soaked Trotskyite Popinjays for War for an in-depth analysis of why British voters backed the BNP
and The Enemies of Reason for a round up of BNP voters' reactions to the election

EU Equality Law Bans Light Hearted Harassment

An outrageous new law proposed by European Union bureaucrats is to ban the popular British past time of 'unwanted conduct related to a particular religion or belief, a particular disability, a particular age, or a particular sexual orientation with the purpose or effect of violating the dignity of a person and of creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment.'

Critics slammed the politically correct scheme as 'stifling freedom of speech and marginalising religion', but added that if it was the BBC being stifled or Islam being marginalised that would be acceptable.

Marmalade campaigner Jonathan Petre described a chilling vision of a future in the grip of the misguided EU law where 'organisations which hang crucifixes on walls could be sued if they upset atheists' and 'charities for the homeless could face legal action if people using their services felt degraded'. Businesses singling out specific groups - such as the disabled - for intimidation and harmless mickey-taking would be similarly censored under the guidelines.

Simon Calvert of the Christian Institute, equally terrified by the bleak prospect of a nation barred from marginalising and harassing minority groups, asked: 'What about Gideon Bibles in hotel bedrooms? Would councils ban nativity scenes from Christmas displays?'

An inside source replied: 'No.'

British Identity Cards Are Offensively European

The first alarming images of the new British national identity card were unearthed late last night by The Quail, we can almost exclusively report.

The new ‘proto-totalitarian police state’ cards, as they have become known by some critics, are little more than credit card sized reminders that we Brits have been reduced to mere Europlebs. Adorning the 1984-style pocket spies, which contain personal information such as fingerprints, names and photographs, are countless Euro-centric images and even, contemptibly, the letters EU reprinted thousands of times over.

Instead of a nice, inoffensive Union Jack, Brussels bureaucrats have instead decreed that the cards display the five stars of the official European Union flag above a picture of a bull. The beast represents Jupiter, Greece’s patron god, who took on animal forms to rape countless women – the children of whom grew up to be modern day Greeks.

The red flag above the bull is probably the flag of some other Eurostate from whence immigrants flock to our shores. Matthew Hickley says in a damning report that although ‘the first cards for British citizens [will] feature a slightly different design’ we should still be outraged by this affront to our glorious nation.

Below is how the ID cards SHOULD look, if New Labour respected the wishes of good, hard-working Brits instead of insidious Brussels overlords.

Migrant Workers Will Continue to Flock to UK for Almost a Decade, says Thinktank

Worrying figures were released today showing that the number of migrant workers from the Eastern Bloc piling into our country would continue unabated for nearly a decade, until 2010.

According to the objective and independent report by non-political and completely trustworthy thinktank Migrationwatch UK, the number of Polish nomads registering to work in our fair country peaked at 228,000 in 2006. The plague-like influx was largely due to New Labour’s misinformed decision in 2004 to join the EU and open Britain’s gates to a tide of immigrants, while many other European states such as France, Germany and Australia, kept their borders safely shut. Thankfully, these countries will be forced to adopt an open immigration policy by 2011, meaning that many of the undesirable foreigners will go elsewhere instead, where they will be free from the horrors of Blair’s Britain like knife crime, political correctness, socialism and reality TV.

Migrationwatch, whose website prominently features well written tabloid headlines such as ‘Migration must be curbed’ and ‘Asylum seeker has deadly super TB’, optimistically predicts that the number of Eastern Europeans registering to work here will fall to 80,000 in 2010, and 50,000 in 2011. Following these figures through yields the utopian possibility that there might in fact be a negative number of immigrants in Britain by 2025.

Despite this good news, Sir Andrew Green, lord commander of Migrationwatch, warned that the Government should not use the good news as a lazy liberal excuse to claim that the public no longer need to be concerned about immigration levels, and that, confusingly, ‘The latest population estimates confirm that, in the next 25 years, we will have to build seven cities the size of Birmingham just for new immigrants.’ Birmingham, according the latest estimates, has 1.06 million residents, meaning that, if Sir Andrew’s predictions are accurate, there will be over 7 million immigrants living in Britain within the next quarter of a century, or around 12% of the UK’s current population. Sir Andrew was unavailable to comment on the apparent disparity between his own figures and those of Migrationwatch.

A Home Office bureaucrat, no doubt acting under propaganda guidelines from Brussels, said: ‘Nationals from the Accession 8 countries [those that joined the EU in 2004] continue to come to the UK to work, contributing to the success of the economy, whilst making few demands of our welfare system’. However, Bruce from London, in an insightful piece of rhetoric, asked 'Who really believes government claptrap that immigration benefits the economy? Are the economies of Germany, France and Austria suffering so badly because they blocked East European immigration until 2011? Hardly.'