Sunday 14 December 2008

Outrage as Brown funds Pakistani terrorists

Fury erupted yesterday over revelations that Gordon Brown has been secretly sending large wads of money in brown envelopes with pound signs on them to Pakistan, the country responsible for 75% of bad things that happen in Britain.

Despite evidence that three quarters of the most serious plots investigated by the British authorities have links to al-Qaeda in Pakistan, Brown has pledged £6m to his good friend Asif Ali Zardari, President of the terrorist-breeding rogue state. The money is to be frittered away on such madcap schemes as upgrading Pakistani airport scanners and countering 'the radicalisation of young Muslims'. This will probably involve giving them free cookery lessons and a nice flat with Sky TV, or whatever the equivalent is over there.

The £6m bonanza was met with incredulity and outrage by many commenters, who rightly pointed out that funding anti-terrorism programmes in a foreign country was just plain silly, because it would be better spent over here on proper things like fighting the horror of the EU.

Rod from Cheshunt highlighted 'Mr' Brown's appalling track record of plurging taxpayers money on far away lands that have funny names:

While Dave from Spain questioned where the PM would be getting the enormous sum from, suggesting some kind of pensions scandal and pointing out that Brown should put Britain first instead of wantonly throwing money at so-called anti-terror schemes that don't benefit Britain at all:

Emily from Wokingham expressed a similar difficulty in comprehending how counter-terrorism plans could ever be of use, insightfully pointing out that terrorists aren't a problem during recessions and should instead just be ignored:

Meanwhile, Peter from Hull, after battling with his caps lock key, succinctly conveyed his regret that Britain still does not adhere to a strict policy of 100% economic isolationism, implicitly reminding readers of how successful the Liberal Democrats protectionist policies of the 1920s were:

Sources close to Peter told The Quail that he has since devised a cunning plan whereby BRown should spend the money on building a great wall around Britain to keep 'those Talibans out', thus rectifying the credit crunch and giving hard-working Brits jobs working on the wall.

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