Monday, 18 May 2009

Miley Cyrus: Mmm, isn't it?

The Daily Mail today revealed that 16 year old twinkle eyed pop starlet Miley Cyrus wore a delectably small 'mix and match' bikini on a beach in the Bahamas.

Cyrus, star of groundbreaking coming of age teen angst flick 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being Hannah Montana', 'looked every inch the Hollywood star' according to a breathless report from sweaty, middle-aged, whiskey-sodden 'Daily Mail Reporter'.

At one point she was even 'spotted climbing on an inflatable banana boat for a high speed thrill', he added lecherously. Mmmm, ooooooh yeah, a banana.

Cyrus's sensual sandy frolicks follow a 'frenzy' earlier this month when she arrived in Leicester Square wearing a really short skirt that 'showed off her long legs', according to Daily Mail Reporter, who had been watching from a tree-top perch with a pair of binoculars and a fake moustache.

And back in April, the teen queen 'flashed some leg and back in a revealing evening dress' which made her 'look all grown up'.

'Mmmm, grown up, yeah she looks grown up enough for me, huh huh huh', added Daily Mail Reporter, stroking his thighs.

But just over a year ago, Daily Mail Reporter was outraged by a disgusting Vanity Fair photoshoot in which the then 15 year old posed topless. Legendary photographer Annie Leibovitz 'caused massive controversy' by snapping Ms Cyrus's naked back as she clutched a silk sheet to her chest. Fortunately, The Daily Mail published the offending pictures so readers could appreciate what they should be so angry at.

The same article also told how Miley had apologised for a separate set of sick pictures which had appeared on the Internet showing her with 'a bare midriff [and] revealing a green bra.'

A Daily Mail insider said: 'Imagine printing revealing photographs of such a young girl. It's disgraceful, showing her exposing her bare midriff and a bra. We would never do that - unless she was a few months older of course.'

See also: Mail website destroys another middle-class marriage


  1. I don't know what to make of all those 'what a gorgeous body' comments about a 16-year-old. This from the same newspaper which will in a few hours' time probably be hysterically upset by the 'evils' of teenagers on Facebook. It's just a bit odd.