Sunday 19 April 2009

Ex-actress looks thirty years older after thirty years

She was once a pin-up for teenage boys and frustrated middle-aged men dissatisfied with their wife's nightly 'headache' everywhere.

With legs that ended at her armpits and sensational denim hotpants - not to mention exquisite breasts and an attractively simple demeanor - the original Daisy Duke became a worlwide sex symbol and the only reason to watch substandard 70s TV series Dukes of Hazzard.

But incredible new photographs reveal that Catherine Bach, who played Duke for six years, seems to have aged at least 30 years since the TV show first aired in 1979.

Since having selfishly had a child in the 90s, Bach has 'piled on the pounds' and now just looks fat and a bit old. The shocking pictures also show that Bach's once pert bosom appears to have drooped as a result of aging - it would appear she has not deemed it necessary to pay out for even the most essential cosmetic surgery.

But it wasn't all bad news for one mid-market national newspaper - the startling news of Bach's battle with the forces of aging provided a superb opportunity to reprint more photographs of Jessica Simpson, who squeezed herself into the Daisy Duke's denim shorts for the 2005 Hollywood remake of the Dukes of Hazzard. The change of actress sparked rumours at the time that Bach might already have aged by a number of years as she had not been approached to reprise the role that made her a star.

Simpson, who came under fire for 'larding up' a bit last year, also has nice legs, a pleasing bottom and great breasts and accounts for a large proportion of traffic to

Thirty humourless readers left critical comments underneath the Mail's expose of Bach's grotesque tubbiness but, inexplicably, they had all disappeared by the morning. Insiders have blamed 'internet goblins' for the fault.

Don't miss The Quail's exclusive special report in 2039 on Jessica Simpson's shock battle with the aging process!

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