Wednesday 29 July 2009

Allergic to microwaves! How Wi-Fever leaves DJ Steve in imagined agony

We've all heard of people with real medical conditions such as agoraphobia or being ginger, that tragically prevent them stepping out of doors.

But spare a thought for Steve Miller, who is unable to set foot in most ordinary public places because of an entirely imaginary disease.

The opportunistic hypochondriac claims he is allergic to Wi-Fi and that the suspiciously invisible beams make him feel dizzy, confused and nauseous whenever he comes near a wireless hotspot or laptop. DJ Steve, who is apparently best known by his stagename Afterlife, told the Sun: ‘I feel like an exile on my own planet. It’s almost impossible to find somewhere without Wi-Fi nowadays.'

Although there is no research to support the existence of Wi-Fi allergy, or Wi-Fever as we have decided to call it, experts at The Daily Mail say one in 50 people suffer from the make-believe condition, also known as electromagnetic sensitivity. Studies like this, which found that participants who mistakenly believed they had been exposed to Wi-Fi signals were just as likely to report symptoms of Wi-Fever as participants who had actually been exposed, should probably just be ignored.

It is unclear why DJ Steve does not experience Wi-Fever in the vicinity of other sources of electromagnetic radiation, such as mobile phones, televisions, and visible light.

Coincidentally, DJ Steve's new Afterlife album, titled 'Electrosensitive', is out now on Defected Records.

This Quail was brought to you by Wireman.

To submit a Quail, click here.


  1. HI
    WiFi was removed from Paris libraries after librarians across the city all complained of these same symptoms of migraines and dizziness.
    WiFI is banned in schools in some parts of GErmay and Austria and France on health grounds.
    THe EU Environment agency called for action to reduce exposures as safety limits are 1000's of times too lenient. THe gERman government in 2007 warned its citizens to avoid WiFi
    There's loads of evidence available

  2. wOah! wh*t A psychADElic c0mm3nt d00d!