Monday 20 July 2009

Mail reviews film without watching it

Never let it be said that The Daily Mail was a newspaper that stood by and watched impotently as its own industry crumbled about its cloven hooves.

While others have struggled to remain relevant in the fiercely competitive 21st Century media landscape by innovating online or unveiling risky new advertising strategies, The Mail has unveiled its killer new media hand by recruiting a crack team of writers able to pontificate without knowing anything about their subject matter. It is thought that the new strategy will generate efficiency savings of, like, a million-and-eight per cent or something.

Condemning sick filth Antichrist, a new film by 'art-house' Dutch Danish director Lars von Trier, 'broad-minded critic' Christopher Hart managed to criticise the BBFC, the EU, the Dutch Danish Government and Western civilisation itself, while boasting that he hadn't actually seen it:

You do not need to see Lars von Trier's Antichrist to know how revolting it is.

I haven't seen it myself, nor shall I...merely reading about Antichrist is stomach-turning, and enough to form a judgment.

As Ernest Hemingway said of obscenity in a justifiably disgusting image, you don't need to eat a whole bowl of scabs to know they're scabs.

Now the anonymous moral guardians of the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC), in their infinite wisdom, have passed this foul film for general consumption.

It doesn't shock or surprise me in the slightest that Europe now produces such pieces of sick, pretentious trash, fully confirming our jihadist enemies' view of us as a society in the last stages of corruption and decay.

It doesn't surprise me that Antichrist was heavily subsidised by the Danish Film Institute to the tune of 1.5 million euros.

In artistic terms, it is the equivalent of food poisoning.

Hart added mystically: 'I don't need to research things to write about them. I just know.'

* Update *

Some bloke rambles on about The Mail's Antichrist review, and Chris Hart himself replies.


  1. You could've warned us the review spoils the whole film.

    Thanks for pointing this out though - but I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise any more!

  2. Um ... Von Trier is Danish, not Dutch. Those are two different countries. Sigh...

  3. Wankers. They've changed it on their website. It said Dutch last night. Corrected, thanks Anon.

  4. I've not read this post but I find it fucking disgusting!

  5. I've never met this guy, but I just know he's a twat.

  6. And that last comment, which I've also not read.

    This website should be closed down now even though I have no idea what it is about.

  7. The ideal society would work on the basis that absolutely everything was pre-banned. People would have to apply to the relevant authorities to have them unbanned and then subsequently released.