Sunday, 29 March 2009

UK women politicians not up to scratch, says bookish nerd

Achingly unfunny Daily Mail sketch-writer Quentin 'Wiener' Letts has found himself in hot water with butch feminist PC bigadiers over a light-hearted article suggesting that British women politicians are letting themselves down by wearing trousers and spending too little time applying make-up before leaving the house.

Letts, described by some as 'toad like in appearance', acknowledged that his 'comedic' take on the list of the worlds 50 sexiest female politicians could land him in 'terrible trouble with Harriet Harman and her sisterhood' for comparing a variety of sparkle eyed political hotties from around the globe with Westminster's plain Janes.

The column featured photographs of Lett's personal choice of the thirteen most attractive 'politic chicks', who may or may not know what The Maastricht treaty is but would certainly brighten up the drab offices of any state government.

Sensationally, Italy's stunning Minister for Equal Opportunities Mara Carfagna even showed off that most elusive of beauties, the Side Boob - although, tragically, her nipple appeared to have been airbrushed out by liberal do-gooders. An insider said: 'Pwoar! I'd let her equal MY opportunities!'

French Minister for Overseas Territories, Christine Kelly, managed to look radiant in a white bikini despite being a bit over the hill at 39, while Spanish anti-corruption campaigner Cayetana Alvarez, was included on the list at number 10 despite not actually being a politician.

The titillating shots, which were unfortunately published without any copyright attribution - possibly because they were all found by the work experience boy at Northcliffe House one-handedly using Google image search, leave Britain embarrassed at scoring a shameful nul points as the government attempts to reach out to attractive young people to discourage the increasing problem of voter apathy amongst nubile under thirties.

Mr Letts, described in some circles as 'a misogynistic geek with a profound fear of women that manifests itself on occasion as snide chauvanism', blamed Britain's poor showing on the fact that 'many Westminster women...have drunk deep at the feminist well' and try hard to 'be the opposite of sassy' for fear of undermining their credibility.

Pointing out that Harriet Harman 'is always turned out smartly' and looked 'V. butch' in a dowdy pin-stripe jacket as she hosted Prime Minsiter's Questions last week, Letts concluded that although Britain's female politicians are mostly quite ugly, 'the quality of their debate may be superior' - presumably because of the proven scientific link between attractiveness and stupidity.

It is unclear why Right-wing pin-up Nadine Dorries was not included on the list.


  1. Although I disagree with the thrust and implications of the original article, it must be noted nonetheless that Yuri Fujikawa is an absolute cracker, and she could x my y, where x and y are a verb and noun respectively, which in some way relate to her particular political field.

  2. I dunno, she's alright but Quentin really does it for me.